Mappa Douji
by VeltPunch
Summary: Because in the end, Hao is nothing more than a broken soul of shattered memories, and Yoh is really the only one who can pick them up and piece them together. -no twincest-


_A drabble I had to make after reading Mappa Douji. What a sad manga…but anyways. No twincest. Just…twinly empathy._

_-_

_-_

He didn't remember much from before he went to bed—Ren screaming at HoroHoro, Ryu talking in a loud and happy voice to Faust—but by the time he hit his pillow, he knew he was out like a light. Anna was always strict with her training resume; dawn to dusk there was running, more running, sparring, and then more running. In then end he knew it would pay off, but sometimes he wondered how it would pay off. At least HoroHoro was forced to as well from his sister. And it wasn't like they were the only two, everyone in Patch Village trained.

_Ohachiyo! Ohachiyo! Look at this!_

_Kaa-chan? …_

_((I'm the demon boy who will annihilate all humans))_

_Asaha Douji…_

_He's the one who murdered my mother!!_

_((This candy is really good!))_

You can see our existence?

_Laughter. _You won't be able to leave the bath until you have counted to 100!

Ohachiyo_Icanreadminds_Gavethispowertome_Can'tyouseemyweapon?_Youwon'tbeabletoremovethispowerfromyourbody_—Forgive me…Ohachiyo_

((If only I was able to transform into a real demon like you))

"My name is Mappa Douji."

…Mappa…

Douji…?

…

YOH!

He sat up straight. Sweat covering his forehead.

Anna looked at him strangely. Eyes hooded. "You were screaming. And waking everyone up."

"Sorry."

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

She eyed him warily.

"Breakfast is on the table downstairs if you want it." She whirled around, her little black Itako dress moving with her, walking out of the room.

His eyes watched lifelessly as the tattered blinds swayed in the wind, the dappled sunlight in his room speckling over his face. The shadows painted in long strokes of inky black, doubled over with the sunlight that shone over it.

--

--

_Asanoha…_

_The Malicious Demon_

_Burn the house down_

_Kaa-chan!!_

_--_

_--_

He woke up in a cold sweat again.

Anna watched him from the far side of the room. Her cold eyes were filled with distant worry.

"You're waking the house up." She turned away, leaving him again and he heard her light footsteps as she walked off.

He examined his hands. There was something…in them. A spirit maybe.

He remembered a very, very happy smile. Big and wide and spreading over a childish face.

"Asaha…Douji?" Yoh said the name aloud. It sounded familiar.

--

--

"**You are**_ here alone _everyday_…"_

"_But every _**human**_ is _weak and cowardly_…"_

"Attached to a_ name and you do _**not**_ fear us demons…"_

"_All my eyes see is _**a **human_…"_

"_Transform into a _**demon**like you_…"_

SLAP

Blurry brown eyes blinked open. There were paper fan marks on his head. A blond held the fan tightly, frowning.

"You've been having a lot of bad dreams lately."

"Aa." The boy sat up, no smile present. "They're just bad dreams."

The blonde looked skeptical, face icy but eyes worried.

"When you're screaming like that I doubt it."

He laughed. But it came out fake. "I'm screaming?"

"You said mother."

((they killed my mother))

His eyes went downcast. He moved out of his bed, strapping the oracle bell onto his wrist in a swift motion, yawning and stretching. "It doesn't matter." He said seriously. "I'll get over it."

Liar. He wouldn't.

His fiancée only gave him another look, before turning to leave. He followed her out of the room.

--

--

It was eating him alive.

He had to ask him, whether it turned out that his dreams really were just that—dreams of a silly thirteen year old boy with a broad and lazy imagination—or if they were more.

Memories.

He figured, from the little spirit demon, a lovely woman who he addressed as mother, a Buddha who was his first kill, that they weren't his memories at all.. He wasn't like Tamao, he didn't have clairvoyant powers or an unnatural empathetic sense.

So if they weren't Yoh's memories, then they were _his_.

_They killed her, my mother._

_Forgive me…Ohachiyo. _

He clenched his fist around the drink he had pressed to his mouth. His friends were rowdy and laughing, Chocolove made another lame attempt at humor, and Ren smacked him upside the head. Everyone laughed. He didn't.

He was thinking.

Even if they were Hao's memories—no…Asaha Douji's—they were personal.

_((You're the closest friend I have…Ohachiyo))_

He cringed.

These memories were so painful.

"Yoh." Anna's voice was soft. She didn't want to worry everyone else. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." He muttered, trying to make a smile that reached his eyes.

Her brown eyes saw through it. "You're hiding something."

No answer.

"Yoh…"

"It's fine." He dismissed her with a gentle wave of his hand. "Really. I'll figure it out."

This time, when he looked at her face, there was no iciness. Just pure worry.

--

--

"What a magnificent display of power—

Whatever the announcer said went out of his ears.

He watched his brother as the other boy turned to leave the stadium, his opponents nothing but smoldering corpses and the stadium nothing but low whispers and silence.

…

Static—A Buddhist screaming and praying for his mother—I don't want to DIE!!—_so tiny…_

_-fsshh-_ blood splattered to the floor—

_static _

He clenched a hand into his hair. Anna gave a sideways glance at him, his face screwed up in pain.

"…Yoh?"

Her voice was quiet, no one was listening.

"It's nothing….my head just hurts." He lied, sending her a smile.

"What a monster." HoroHoro frowned.

Ren nodded quietly. But Yoh couldn't think of him as that. His eyes were soft, as the only thing he could see were the memories of a boy who had done nothing wrong.

Everything was quiet, everyone speechless. Even the annoying announcer had quieted as Hao watched the remains of his opponents burn. For a while, Yoh didn't experience any flashbacks—no memories jogged. It was so quiet and noiseless.

"_HE'S THE ONE WHO KILLED MY MOTHER—_

The voice screamed in his head, the image of a Buddhist splattered in blood, small hands gripping an Oversoul, a demon—Ohachiyo probably—telling him something that he wasn't listening too.

He cringed at the voice. Loud and shrill and filled with emotions.

Hao paused as he walked off the arena, subtly, but still noticeable. Yoh gulped, willing the images to stop for a moment…Whatever his twin had noticed (the scream in his head was probably loud enough for Hao to hear parts of it over everyone else's) had only kept his interest for seconds, as he continued onward, companions only shooting a worried glance at each other.

--

_There was a little boy-he still had little chubby cheeks and small fingers-he looked frightened. "I'm not a demon boy…I don't even have demonic powers."_

"_That much at least should be clear." The demon—Ohachiyo—scoffed. "You are simply a boy who can see spirits. Forget this silly idea. Revenge is only thought after by the foolish humans."_

"_Then what should I do?" The little boy asked. "How should I live from now on…?_

_The demon smirked._

_--_

_--_

It was clear now, Yoh frowned. This little boy in his dreams…Asaha-Mappa-Douji. This was Asakura Hao. His twin brother. The one who wanted to destroy mankind and revamp the planet as a world of Shamans. Who killed mercilessly. Who burned his opponents not even yesterday for no real reason other than the fact he wanted to, and they were annoying him. The one his family wanted to kill at all costs.

But Yoh didn't see him.

He saw a little boy crying under a tree because humans had murdered his mother and burned his house. A boy with a sad, solemn expression as hordes of demons passed him, watching them disinterestedly. A little boy smiling and talking to a spirit, wishing he was stronger so he could've protected his mother…wishing he was a demon like his best friend.

He didn't see a murderer…couldn't see one.

"Where are you going?" Anna's voice was soft as she leaned against door frame, arms wrapped around herself in the cold night and her flaxen hair falling gently around her.

He sighed. It was his fault. She wasn't even icy anymore…just worried for him.

"I just need to…" He struggled for words. "I just want to see something."

She studied his back slowly, his shadow long and painted in dark jagged stripes. The light from the front door to their hotel was the only light.

"Fine. Go."

She must have found whatever she was looking for.

"_And you are so pure…despite the fact we are good friends."_

In his memory, he saw Hao with such a distinct worry on his face, it was hard to imagine it was the same person. _"Ohachiyo?"_

A sad tale of two best friends.

As he walked along, he wondered if Hao had ever told anyone what Yoh saw. He doubted it. These memories were very…—_you've never had candy Ohachiyo?—_personal.

Yoh doubted that Hao would have ever wanted to share something like this to someone. And he contemplated keeping it to himself.

But if he did…he didn't know what he'd do. It was hard a painful, and he was dying to ask…But he didn't know what Hao's reaction would be.

Yoh had to ask though, it'd kill him if he didn't.

_((Let's be friends.))_

Hao and this little demon Ohachiyo were friends. Hao's mother was killed because she could see spirits, and people thought she was a demon. In the end, Ohachiyo became a part of Hao—Yoh was fairly sure it was the Reishi part that Hao had inherited from the demon—and Hao was left without any friends.

_Forgive me…Ohachiyo—_((it turns out we weren't able to be friends after all, Mappa-Douji))—_It made me so happy…hating the humans…a boy as pure as a demon…_

Whatever happened in the end, was tragic.

"Hao? Are you there? Hao!"

The forest was quiet. Yoh turned around, wondering if he wasn't there.

"Coming to visit me again, Otouto?"

He turned around swiftly. This time though, unlike the time with the Lily Five, he didn't bother to get angry. If his older brother was surprised by this action, he didn't show it.

Yoh bit his lip. He didn't know how to ask.

_I'm Mappa Douji the boy who will exterminate all humans—_

_The humans murdered my mother—_

_Forgive me—_

We weren't able to be friends after all…

"Do you have any friends?"

The words slipped out of his mouth.

His older brother was startled by this notion, eyes widening before narrowing dangerously, a smirk on his face. "Friends are weak. The only thing needed in this world are followers and power."

Yoh said nothing.

"Do you think your friends will help you, Yoh? In the end, there's no one to rely on but yourself. Friends are weak and helpless."

"Even Ohachiyo?"

His brother's eyes widened. It was the most startled he had ever seen Hao before.

_SLAM_

His back hit the tree, and even though he only winced, it hurt like hell. Hao was holding him up by his neck, brown eyes fiery and intense. The Spirit of Fire loomed in the background.

"How," He hissed. "Do you know that name?"

Yoh struggled for words around his closed throat. "I…I don't know!"

His brother released him, and he hit the forest floor with a dull thud. He rubbed his throat, looking up and taking note of the angry expression in Hao's eyes, but also the confused and pain filled one.

"Tell me." He ordered.

"I just had dreams." Yoh said quickly. "About this corrupt Buddhist monk and a demon spirit named Ohachiyo or something. Its just bits and pieces but…

There's a boy named Mappa Douji too."

Hao's form stilled, his eyes covered by his dark bangs, the wan, wintry spill of the moon fading down on them.

"And I don't think they're _my _memories." Yoh rubbed his sore neck. "So I don't really know who else's they could be. And I just wanted to know."

"There's nothing to know."

His brother turned to leave, and Yoh stood up quickly.

"I know it's probably really hard to lose someone close to you." Yoh's voice quivered. _((…so I can no longer stay by your side))_ "But I don't understand why you won't open up to anyone!"

"You know nothing!" His brother was angry…Yoh wasn't surprised.

_What's up?_

_Oh, it's nothing…sorry. It's just that, I'm a little tired of this life…_

Yoh cringed as another memory hit him, sad and blank and filled with emotions pouring out of it. Hao must have read his mind, because the other boy stilled and Yoh willed the memory to go away. A little boy's faced etched in sadness, a memory that Hao had long since buried and hadn't remembered in a long time.

"You know more than just bits and pieces." His brother accused softly, not bothering to turn and look at him.

"I can't help it." Yoh frowned. "They just…come and go."

His brother was silent.

"Will you tell me?" Yoh gulped. Unsure of what his brother's reaction would be.

The wind picked up for moments, however with the tense silence cobwebbed above them.

"I'm sure you already know, but my first given name was Asaha Douji, derived from my mother's name, Asanoha. She was killed by humans because they feared her, and I was left alone. I met Ohachiyo by chance. He was…a kind demon. I had only known him for a short period of time, in the end though—

_((we weren't able to be friends after all, Mappa Douji))_

—he left me too." Hao didn't look at him, his eyes somewhere near the skyline where the canopy of trees met the dark night sky.

"He merged with you." Yoh answered softly.

"Yes."

He saw a flash of Hao's stricken face, wet with tears and blood and left alone. The boy was drenched in blood, wiping the tears and blood off his stained face lifelessly, helpless…

"I'm sorry." Yoh finally managed.

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

Watching his brother's face, he knew it was the closest that they had ever been to real conversation, even if it was only a little bit of his past that Hao was sharing with him.

"I didn't mean to bring it up, I was just wondering…who these people in my dreams were." Memories fluttered past him. A boy's smiles, his adventures, his pain. "I…really am sorry."

He couldn't see his brother's face, but he knew for a fact that Hao hated pity more than anything, so he struggled for the right words.

"Maybe you don't want my sympathy," He started quietly, intense-eyed and fragile-looking, underneath the wan spill of the full moon. "But I really am sorry. Not for you, but for a boy who didn't deserve anything of what happened to him. Because it wasn't fair, and even if life's not fair that's not an excuse. Because _you _don't deserve that either. So please…just open up to me."

His brother was already walking away though.

"Hao!"

But his brother had disappeared in a swirl of flames, looking over at Yoh with a small smile. But it could have been the younger shaman's imagination.

He watched the stars twinkle in the sky.

A long time ago, watching these same stars, his grandfather had asked him why he wanted to be Shaman King, and he had said so he could have a lazy carefree life.

"I'll be Shaman King." Yoh watched those same stars now. "For you, Asaha Douji."

-

-

_Yes, all the dialogue from Hao's memory are real dialogue from Mappa Douji scans. But anyways, review meh? :3_


End file.
